In the wake of the reddit post about the women throwing away and deleting photos of her husband’s late wife I feel I need to write a letter to the woman my husband will marry if I die before him. I think that the women who wrote the reddit Post was completely in the wrong and there is no excuse for her actions but her post made me realize that many women dating or marrying widowers (and vice versa) probably feel like they cannot be as good as their partner’s late wife. I tend to need to be as prepared as possible for any event so I decided to write a letter to my husband’s future wife in the hope that she will learn I am not perfect and she does not have to be either so here it goes…
Dear Husband’s Future Wife,
First I want to say congratulations for finding yourself a wonderful, kind, amazing man. I may be a bit biased but I have dated enough to know objectively that he is a pretty good man overall.
If you are reading this it means I have died. I am not sure how I will go yet but I hope it was quick and painless and didn’t cause too much chaos. Please don’t feel bad for me because well I am dead and either living it up in heaven, haunting someone hangouts, or simply gone from existence and don’t know any different. No mater what happens I can’t change it.
The ones who you should feel a bit sorry for are the people I have left behind including our husband (I have decided to call him that for the rest of this letter because it seems fitting). I have told him many times that if I die before him I want him to find love again and not feel guilty for one second about being in love again. He will probably forget this so please remind him if he doubts himself (you can tell him I said so). I am sure he chose well but I also am sure it is hard to be the wife of a widower.
If you ever begin to feel insecure about your relationship because people tell you how perfect or wonderful I was please take a minute and reread this letter. I am a pretty awesome person but I am by no means perfect. If anyone tries to tell you that they are lying and I will find a way to haunt them. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people make it out that a person who has passed away was beyond perfect.
I am going to be very honest with you now and tell you things I don’t like to tell many people. Here is a list of things that are quirky/weird/annoying/difficult about me:
- I snore really loudly and also sometimes shake or talk in my sleep (yes I have had this checked and apparently I am fine)
- I am a weirdly picky eater and make several requests when ordering food
- I cry often especially when I am stressed
- I have horrible smelly farts especially when I am sleeping
- I can be very forgetful
- I live with anxiety and depression (well not living with it anymore haha sorry bad joke)
- I make really bad and sometimes terribly morbid jokes (our husband hates them but likes to tell other people about them later so we can all laugh at my ridiculousness)
- I get angry when I am overwhelmed and often take it out on the people I care about, especially our husband
This is just a small list but I hope this gets the point across that I am far from perfect. Please for the love of everything good in this world please do not be jealous of me. Please take good care of our husband and listen to his stories about all the silly things I used to do or the adventures we had together. Know that he can love you and me at the same time but in different ways. Know that I love you for taking care of him after I am gone. Make sure he takes care of and respects you too!
I hope this letter brings you comfort and I wish you all the best.